Anatomy of a crab cake lunch

Now some people will tell me that they take time to make their own crab cakes. To those people I say, "Get a job." Some of us (mainly me) have neither the time nor inclination to prepare food from scratch. I prefer to buy double home-schooled organic crab cakes handmade by Mission hipsters at Whole Foods. They just taste better with that hint of urban superiority that you can't get in the 'burbs.

After pulling the crab cake from the fridge, I like to smash it down a bit before tossing it in a pan with a little (lot) of olive oil. This allows the cake to cook thoroughly more quickly. Try not to have your heat too high. It's crab, not the ground chuck you're used to eating.

If you've done it right, when you flip the crab cake over after about 3-4 minutes, you will see a beautiful golden-brown crispy crust. If you failed to heed my earlier warning about having the heat too high, you can try to pass off your charcoal crab disk as an Emeril Lagasse recipe. Three more minutes or so on this side and your crab cake will be ready.

I like to serve my crab cakes with a simple mixed herb salad, some garlic and herb aioli, disdain for anyone who eats at McDonald's, and a lemon for generous squeezes of brightness and joy over the crab. Sit back, enjoy someone else's hard work, and have a delightful meal. Bon appétit!