Can't wake up and have money to "burn"? Try the Shredder Clock!

How is this for the Alarm Clock of the Future? Endorsed by the anti-Suze Orman, the Shredder Clock will destroy whatever you put inside it that's what she said unless you wake up and manually turn off the alarm. Essentially, this is the Republican Social Security Plan. Brilliant, huh?

And, no snoozing, lazy butt. It's either get up or lose your annual bonus or the baby's birth certificate or your Muni FastPass. I think this would be perfect for my friend Shannon who used to keep three alarm clocks with staggered alarm times in various positions around her bedroom to make sure would actually get up. Alas, Shannon, this doesn't exist yet, so you'll have to be content with this until someone in China reads this and makes a million of them. Sweet dreams!