My 2000th Post?!?! Shocking revelations, nudity, murder, and horrifying hairdon'ts

I can't believe we made it to 2000. If you have been around awhile, you know that this poor little blog was born on a long forgotten service known as MySpace when I lived in Hawai'i and eventually migrated to Blogger when moved back to San Francisco. And now, 400 years later, here we are (always write for the future, kiddos).

If you're reading this, you have my gratitude--and pity. Ha ha. Seriously, I hope I've managed to amuse you once in a while and, if I'm really lucky, made you think about something from the sarcastic, caffeinated point of view that Iced Tea & Sarcasm strives for. Sure, we miss the mark some times (did you see that last post?), but our aim is sincere. Now, if you can explain to me why I adopt the "Royal 'We'" when I talk about the blog, I'd be grateful. Is this blog a person? Is it a corporation? Will someone please buy it for $20 million and put us out of our misery?!

I wish I had some brilliant bons mots to share. How's this? "Don't write angry emails. It's a record of your anger, and someone will save that email." That's one of my best bits of HR advice. Another email suggestion: before you press send, ask yourself: "What do you want the outcome of this email to be?" This might save you from sending those rash, uncontemplated emails. Other than that, wash your ears, wear clean underwear, know what words mean before you use them, and never get involved in a land war in Asia.

As for revelations, they are patently unshocking. I'm sitting at home on a Friday night and tapping away at my Mac. Some revelation, huh? I did, however, enjoy that bottle of Syrah I opened much earlier in the night. I guess it's time to reveal that I like wine. And iced tea. I'll give you a minute to gather your thoughts and deal with the shock.

Nudity is truly something you don't want to see on this blog. But, there was that earlier posting. And the rest of the internet. Iced Tea & Sarcasm, however, cannot condone the nudity of its author. The Surgeon General will put a "Just Say No" label all over that mess.

Regarding murder, I bet there has been one recently (after all, we are close to Oakland), but I doubt it was caused by iced tea--or sarcasm. I do, however, think that reading this blog could prevent one from committing murder. So, murderers of the world, read the blog. Waste your time. Save a life.

As for hairdon'ts, well, you've seen my photos before. 'Nuff said, huh? I mean, look at that photo above. Scareeeeey. As the great sage Morrissey once said, "I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong…” My friends, I have the wrongest life of all. But, the hair's still there, so I can't complain too much.

Despite the boring nature of this 2000th post, I did spend the day in contemplation. You see, today was an odd day for this blogging milestone to happen because I started the day with the shocking news that a former colleague had committed suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. News like that definitely strips away the casual veneer of daily life. And, despite my best efforts, I was only able to make one sarcastic remark about it. It's my defense mechanism, so don't judge me too harshly. Instead of floating above it all in my natural state of sarcastic aloofness, I spent much of the day in a distracted haze and was reminded of just how lucky I am to have amazing friends and family and, yes, a community of like-minded stranger-friends who enjoy reading and watching and sharing the odd, funny, terrible, amusing, dreadful, and thoroughly magical things we find on our journey through this life. I wish us all the best and a lot of laughs to get us through the un-best.

Thanks for reading these 2000 posts (or at least this rambling one). You truly deserve a medal. Aloha, mahalo, and remember to vote early and often.

Todd X.