Snow in San Francisco looks like this

Truly apocalyptic, right? I don't know how I'll be able to get out of the apartment. The streets are a maze of abandoned cars and frozen corpses. Send care packages and the National Guard!

Dear rest of the country, please go back to minding your own weather business. We don't have weather here. Just sunshine, rain, fog, wind, wine, artisanal coffee and macarons, amazing and gorgeous people (I'm blushing), and more homeless and drugs than you can shake a wad of Google stock at. It's paradise. Get over it.