Why drink less?

You're familiar with the scene: you've been invited to Acquaintance #1's house for a hootenanny and you think to yourself, "I guess I'll bring a bottle of wine . . . for myself!" So, you schlep to your local wineshop, pick up a bottle of Chateau Whatever's-On-Sale-But-Not-Too-Cheap-Because-You-DO-Have-A-Reputation-To-Maintain, and arrive to A's house with libations in hand. Cut to 45 minutes later, after you've choked down the vile "Cambodia is the new Napa" swill that Acquaintance #2 brought to the party, and you reach for your bottle of divine nectar--only to discover that it has been opened and half-drunk. Oh the humanity! All those molecules of winey goodness that will never infest your liver. It's not fair.

My friends, I'm here to help. I give you the "Full Bottle Wine Glass."



Used strategically, the Full Bottle Wine Glass will preserve your oenophilic desires by allowing you to monopolize any bottle of wine you want. Casually uncork the bottle and begin to pour. As long as you haven't "accidentally" purchased a magnum of Riunite Lambrusco, your wine should easily fit into your glass. Yes, you will likely have to explain the need to bring your own stemware, but this can easily be written off to a fear of inferior glass production or a crushing need to make your hands look smaller. If you have a forgiving therapist, she might give you a note declaring your glass to be a "companion animal."

Regardless of your level of alcoholism, this glass belongs in your collection. Join the Cougar Town crowd and buy it now here.