Gray Whales Eat Garbage So You Don't Have To

A gray whale that washed up in West Seattle held a nice surprise for researchers: a stomach full of garbage!


COSTANZA!!!

Finally, we can quit worrying about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. If we leave it alone, all the cute little sea creatures will just eat it up for us: NOM NOM NOM.

Sure, one or two of them might die get a tummy ache, but it's nothing that American ingenuity can't solve. Therefore, I propose we begin the great Pepto Project. With your help, we can raise the $50 million needed to pump four million gallons of Pepto Bismol into the Pacific Ocean. This little pink bump is all the fishies need to completely devour the rest of that disgusting 51st state garbage island. Go Little Mermaid, go!!

"Whales Weep Not"