New Study: Whiskey is poisonous, but Vodka cures cancer

A recent study published in my favorite magazine Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research shows that whiskey will tend to give drinkers a worse hangover than pure, mountain spring vodka goodness. After last night's holiday party, I can verify this research. My Grey Goose and soda more than stood up to the throngs of Manhattan drinkers around me. Today, they are suffering while I have finished my portrait of Margaret Thatcher, built two homes for the poor, delivered hot meals to 250 people and took a few Polaroids for my collection. In short, vodka rules.