Cosmo Drinkers Rejoice! Ice Discovered on Mars

Elated scientists probing the arctic surface of Mars with their newly-landed Phoenix spacecraft said Saturday they are convinced they have found a bright and shiny layer of real ice only inches beneath the Martian soil and directly under the body of the lander itself.

"It's the consensus of all of us that we have found ice," said Peter Smith of the University of Arizona in Tucson as he talked to reporters in a conference call only six days after Phoenix landed safely from Earth. "It's shiny and smooth -- it's absolutely astounding!"

My interpretation of this event is a little different. Imagine: a whole new world ripe for martinis. I don't know about you, but I'm getting my shaker and my space suit ready.