Contrarian Mondays with Todd X: Recycling is Evil

I hate recycling. I'm convinced it doesn't work and takes more energy than using new materials. I also believe that human beings exist for one reason: the earth couldn't create plastic on its own, so it created/evolved us. We made plastic--lots of it. Now, we've outlived our usefulness. Get ready to be recycled, Humanity!!

Also, I hate the holier-than-thou attitude that recyclers have. Bite me. Where's the nearest trashcan because I'm tossing my aluminum can into it?

In fact, I hate it so much that I've started throwing all my trash into my regular trashcan at work simply because we have to take our recycling to larger recycling bins which are emptied by the janitors. Regular trash is emptied nightly.

You do the math.

I do, however, get a sick sense of pleasure when Renee sees me toss something "bad" into the regular trash. "That is CLEARLY recyclable," she says. When she says that, I hear a little bell ring. It's as though an anti-recycling angel has gotten his wings.

Go forth and fill the landfills, little angel. We have a lot of space to fill before global warming causes the oceans to rise.

Happy Monday!